The Innovation Committee skit

This script was written out of brainstorming sessions with Val Vadeboncoeur, a noted team-building trainer and good friend. It was commissioned by Idea Champions, a company that offers training for effective teamwork and innovative thinking to corporate customers. It was created to be an ice-breaker in a training session, to introduce the subject in an entertaining, non-threatening way, setting the stage for a facilitator to talk about how to encourage a healthy atmostphere for creative thinking about business challenges. General theme: the ways in which innovative thinking is all too often discouraged or squashed in the typical business environment.

The Cast :

• Mr. Plank - the Boss
• Tyra - the Junior VP
• Arnold - the nerd

---

The Story

[ An office: Arnold is over by the window with Binoculars,
Tyra is on her cell, and Mr. Plank strides in, looking Presidential.]

PLANK

So, welcome to the first meeting of the creativity and innovation committee (CIC)...

ARNOLD

< with a smartypants tone: >

"See? I see."

PLANK

< Looking straight at him >

...That's CIC, pronounced "kick." Like, "...In The Butt."

Tyra? Are you, ah, able to join us?

TYRA

< Continuing to talk on the phone >

...all right, listen Helen, there's like some kind of meeting going on here or something. I'll see you at Fantasy Island after, and we'll figure out how to deal with him.

PLANK

So, listen up, we're here to..."brainstorm," to come up with some 'new ideas' or something so the meatheads out there don't screw everything up again.

As you know, the company had a little problem recently...

< all roll eyes recalling horror >

...and they got rid of them, but management still seems to feel like "communication" is some kind of issue, and,

< looks at sheet of paper... >

"motivation,"

< snorts derisively, looks around >

-- an' I know you're all motivated -- by your paycheck, am I right?

< forced laughter all around >

But anyway, that's why we're having this meeting. At least for another, like, 15 minutes.

< TYRA starts a new call on her cellphone >

First, I just want to say that I'm glad to see such a healthy turnout...

ARNOLD

We were told to be here.

PLANK

...and I know you're going to enjoy it, too, because the people who appreciate our company's < finger-quotes > New Attitude will be the ones who are still around next year.

ARNOLD

Rah!

< twirls finger sarcastically. Leans back to window with binoc's >

PLANK

Okay, who's going to take notes?

< TYRA, still on phone, stares him down.>

Arnold, take the notes.

ARNOLD

I can't!

PLANK

Why not?

ARNOLD

I've got to watch my parking space.

TYRA

But you don't have a car.

ARNOLD

That's why I have to keep such a close eye on it.

PLANK

Just forget about it and sit down!

< ARNOLD sits. TYRA hangs up phone >

So I'm gonna lay out a few ground rules, and I want you to listen up -- I'm only going through this once, y'understand?

ARNOLD

Wait, wait, slow down.

PLANK

Now what's the problem?

ARNOLD

Well, you told me to write everything down.

PLANK

But why is this taking so long?

ARNOLD

I'm dotting the i's and crossing the t's.

PLANK

< Sighs heavily. >

All right. So, where were we? Oh, yeah, ground rules.

First of all, no stupid ideas, all right? But let your, y'know, 'creativity' flow here, and let's come up with something that'll save us a least a few million.

Yes?

ARNOLD

What's the punishment for bad ideas?

TYRA

Oh, my, Gott.

PLANK

Oh for cryin' out loud... well, lemme look.

< Refers to pamphlet they must have given him in his
sensitivity training. Reading from page: >

"There are no bad ideas in a brainstorm." Well, that's just about the dumbest thing I ever heard. But, I guess you can have a couple bad ideas, according to this.

ARNOLD

But at least punish them for the third one!

PLANK

Look, just don't have any bad ideas, alright? Any more, I mean.

Okay, so who's got a smart, no "b.s.", moneymaking idea for the business?

< stony silence. >

C'mon, we're suppposed to be coming up with new ideas here.

TYRA

We want to be around next year -- which is pretty pathetic reflection of our self-images, if you ask me.

PLANK

Well, we didn't ask you.

TYRA

Yes, you did, you specifically asked if we had any ideas.

PLANK

Good ideas.

TYRA

Good!

PLANK

< This stumps the boss. >

All right, I guess we're all in agreeement on that.

< to ARNOLD: >

Any ideas, yet, genius?

ARNOLD

Weren't there supposed to be donuts for this meeting? I talked to Cathy, and she said she's only coming because there's going to be donuts, except she didn't come.

< smirks conspiratorially to himself >

TYRA

Maybe she knows something that you don't.

PLANK

Listen, can we get on with this, please?

< Looks at watch sternly >

I need to hear some ideas, here, good bottom line stuff, and I need 'em fast.

TYRA

Can I get immunity for one?

PLANK

Oh, all right!

TYRA

"I thought we could institute a...

PLANK

That'll never work!

TYRA

But you said I had immunity! And I didn't even say my idea yet.

PLANK

Oh, all right, then, go on. I just knew what you were going to say -- from the previous million times you've suggested it.

TYRA

< clears her throat >

I move that we institute a "Boss for the Day" program. Each employee who has received a better than 95% rating in their last performance review...

< Boss starts shuffling through his folder >

...would have the opportunity to serve in the capacity of Management for one day, or more if they are shown to be doing a really superlative job.

PLANK

And which, uh, management position were you considering taking over, for that, uh, day?

TYRA

Well, who is the most important, powerful, influential member of our management team?

ARNOLD

Guess whooo.

PLANK

That, will never, work.

Okay, so how're we doing? Anybody else have any great, increase-our-sales-200% kind of ideas?

< silence. >

Alright, any good ideas?

< silence. >

Any ideas at all?

TYRA

I move we let the staff come up with the ideas.

ARNOLD

Then they can come before our Committee and present their ideas for our condemnation! Or even approval.

< giggles again >

PLANK

Done! We'll let them come up with the ideas. An excellent idea, ahh, if rather obvious; I was waiting to see if you were going to get that far.

< meeting dissolves as TYRA's cell rings again, she flees for bathroom,
Arnold goes back to window... >

ARNOLD

My space!

< Arnold grabs a phone >

Hello, Security!?

PLANK

Okay, we've come up with some real breakthrough thinking here. I move we adjourn this meeting, all in favor?

< slams his notebook closed and exits >

- - END - -

© 2006 Idea Champions